I have had what could only be described as a sensational year. Which is not to say it didn’t have it’s challenges, but if you told me that by the end of 2015 I would be here I may not believed you EXCEPT that I was clear that here is where I wanted to be, I just didn’t quite know HOW it was going to happen.
The greatest lesson in manifesting what you want? Be totally clear in your intention. As specific as possible in what you want. And then let the hell go of however or whatever you think needs to happen to make it happen. And then it will. Probably about the time you have accepted that it’s OK if it doesn’t happen or that you don’t really need that thing.
Case in point. I have a Camilla Caftan. Well actually I have 2, so lets say I have a Camilla collection. In November 2014 I wrote a Camilla on my list of things I would want “when” my business was flourishing and I could afford to treat myself. It was something I thought would be a luxurious treat. I spoke about it to one of my friends just once I am sure, and for my birthday this year my beautiful friend’s all put in and gave me a voucher from the Camilla store in Perth. Manifested it right? I got the voucher in June, but didn’t ever seem to be in Perth long enough to get to the store. Until early December when my guy (manifested the shit out of him too!) and I were heading down south for a wedding. So we went and I tried on all the blue ones (because there are so many and they are all so beautiful and I thought if I just tried on the blue ones I wouldn’t get to confused). When I went to sort out payment of my magnificent caftan, there was some shuffling and helpful guy carrying the bags and such, and it wasn’t until we got in the car and were on the road I realised there were two caftans in the bag, both shades of blue. It pains me to admit that I thought perhaps an extra one had been put in my bag by mistake and I openly told my guy that “I don’t think I can tell anyone”. Cool moment when you basically admit you would steal a $600 caftan to the person who just brought it for you. Fortunately he just thought I was funny. So I very clearly stated my intention was to own a Camilla. In the end, it was probably not something I would have spent my money on (not yet, as there are still more important things I’m investing in to keep my home running – like air-conditioning and the mortgage – and my business going) but somehow I ended up with it anyway. And not just one, but two. Yet if in November a clairvoyant said, “Your friends will buy you one and your boyfriend (who did not exist yet) will get you another one on the same day as a surprise” I may have thought she was on crack. Truly. And I love them and feel truly blessed and cherished, but it’s almost as though I didn’t get them until it wasn’t this thing I was chasing.
Case in point 2. I have a committed boyfriend. Well actually I have 2, so lets say I have a boyfriend collection. Sorry. Poor taste in jokes.
In August 2014 I was 6 months into Gap Year. I was still reeling from the whole gross ending of my previous relationship and still a bit stunned about how shit I felt about that. I was not sure I wanted to “call in the one” but I signed up to do a program calling “Calling in the One” even though the name of the program wanted to make me vomit. I guess I signed up because of something else? Given the name, you’d think it would be the delivery of “The One” but I think it was actually the bit about not being so messed up by all the past that stuff that was appealing. If I sorted that and the direct result was delivery of “The One” I could probably cope with that, but if I at least felt better about that past stuff (lying, cheating, betraying not-the-one) then I’d be a much happier person. So I wrote down, very specifically, what “The One” would be like. At first it was more about what (or whom) he would not be like, but then I got clear that I really needed to focus on what I wanted first if I actually wanted to manifest it. I was pretty clear. And then I just got on with sorting out all the other stuff that needed sorting out (like my house, my business, my children, my friendships, me) and didn’t really think another thought about HOW this person would or could come into me life. A couple of times I thought perhaps I would have to try internet dating, but fortunately had the excuse of Gap Year as a way of NOT signing up. Because I REALLY, REALLY didn’t want to. I didn’t want to date at all actually. Ever. And guess what happened? The only person I had to date was him. And he pulled off the best ever 24 hour date day for my birthday and as far as epic dates go he has won. I won’t share all the specifics of what I asked for (in case you all realise how great he is and try to steal him) but at my most shallow I asked for someone with hair, good dental hygiene and generally had his shit together. Boom. He’s so much more than that, and that has very little to do with who I am. Except that who I am seems to be whom he likes. And I had to be her first so he could see her and know her and like her.
And then there’s all the other cool stuff that happened in 2015 to me and mine. You don’t have to read it all; it was more for me really…
Here’s 2015 in dot points (without dots because that’s too formal):
I do believe quite early on the first day of the year I was running around the streets of this town trying to get in the nightclub after lockdown time, trying to convince the bouncers that although I was dressed in my mum-slut, gold dress I was no threat and old enough to be their mother. They still didn’t let me in.
Renovated my studio into the kickass Biznest Studio
Did a lot of SUP yoga
Hung with our wee cousins and convinced their parents our town might be the best place for their childhood
Got rejected at the Post Office for an out-dated passport photo
Did a spectacular chicken-themed photo shoot with the talented Emma Hutton
Wrote a blog about sunnies. This blog. A guy I kinda knew would send me a Facebook message about this blog post. Just like God said.
My website www.fleurporter.com went live. Straight after I had a mid-afternoon espresso martini. Alcohol, coffee and self-promotion resulted in a massive panic attack. Luckily my website was shit-hot.
WON the Gap Year bet. Scored $100 for not kissing/sleeping with/filling the gap in any way with any men (or women) for an ENTIRE YEAR.
Made a new “friend” with the guy who wrote to me about the sunnies blog. It’s only in inverted commas because of what it became, but he was determined to be my friend. Quite a shock to me really, even though I’d asked for that.
School started – Had a kindy kid, and Year 1 and Year 6. Miss 11 became a student councillor.
My bro came to visit, made him do SUP yoga with me.
Launched my FIRST EVER INCUBATOR 8 WEEK PROGRAM. With 7 people in it. My thing. My thing. So my thing.
My biggest girl left home to go travelling to Vietnam. Forever I thought (I quite like that as I write this, she home again for 5 weeks). I did the letting go as a mother thing again (and will do it again when she leaves in 3 weeks).
There are lots of rabbit photos.
Watched 50 Shades of Grey and refused to talk to my “friend” about it unless he reconsidered our status (see below for outcome of this conversation)
Ended Gap Year with the guy who had been my “friend”. Mostly because he was friendly and seemed like a better option that anyone I might meet at the nightclub or on Facebook. Oh, OK he did connect with me through Facebook that is true. The night involved home-cooked dinner and a motorbike ride in the rain. And more interest in my dating life than EVER (I guess what would happen if you’ve banged on about Gap Year for so long). Was not sure what would happen, but the more I face-stalked him with my friends the more I realised that I may have been delivered what I asked for. Freaked out silently on occasion (good freak out).
Flew to the Gold Coast for my first Business intensive with my coach. Had twenty bucks when I got there. I may have cried and said I wanted to work at McDonalds. They still tease me.
Got a new tattoo. It says ‘she flies by her own wings’ in Latin. Yep.
Made my first video. A whole series on overwhelm and how to stop it stealing your soul. It’s pretty good even if I do say so. My lovely Au Pair edited it. Oh the talent!
Did 3 Ignite Leadership seminars. Or 4. Crikey, they all roll into one big fest of amazingness!
Went to an Ed Sheeran concert. Was blown away by his raw talent.
The brown hair girls came to visit and I remembered that no matter how it is love could be real and true. So nothing changes and everything changes, and one day in the unfolding of everything else (all the else of every that hasn’t unfolded yet) all will just be as it should be. And the sisterhood will always exist, just by default of the fact that however it came to be and what happened next we are all women, connected by threads that do not ever end.
Danced on stage at Secrets in the Garden. Even though I am not a dancer. Totally rocked a bucket list.
Did lots of aerial yoga. Figured I am a yoga slut.
Went to two weddings with my love. Tried to be a hot date.
Ran 4 more Incubators. FOUR MORE!!!
Fought with my children about shoes more than I ever imagined I would have to.
Accepted I have a boyfriend. A super, cool one. With hair, good dental hygiene and his shit together.
Hosted two Biznest Intensives in my Biznest Studio in G-town!! Can’t tell you how this is favourite kind of work (and feels like not-work). Can’t tell you how incredible the women are I work with.
Went to my first rodeo in a flanno and drank my first (in a very long time or my living memory which could mean I drank them before when I was already drunk) Emu Export.
Had my 41st birthday and was gifted a Camilla caftan (see above)
Went to Bali for a helliday.
Ended up with an accidental Brazilian.
Said goodbye to our gorgeous au pair Taylor, even though none of us were sure we would ever leave Bali. Ash cloud.
Picked up our next gorgeous au pair Marina. I was so ill and hellidayed out I thought perhaps she might want to leave. She stuck around. Thank goodness.
Started back at the gym. Got a fit core. Found out I like Pilates. Lets not talk about exercise at this moment. Will get a fit core again in 2016.
My little sister and her family moved to our town. Felt like a massive win! Nephews and lunch dates without any of our kids. So grand.
Epic 24-hour date day. Flight to Perth. Room at the Crown. BMW from the airport. My biggest girl. 3 of my friends. Tickets for us all to see Gurrumul.
Gurrumul live at the Perth Concert Hall. Like breathing magic.
Gold Coast again for the next Business Intensive. Had more than twenty bucks. Missed all my connecting flights home. 2015 was not the year for planes.
My children turned 19, 12, 7 and 5. Holy shit. How can I still be 23? They are miraculously special.
Saw The Waifs in concert. All my life all wrapped in one concert.
Have 2 dogs, 1 cat, 2 rabbits, 9 chooks and now a fish. Currently babysitting a guinea pig. Did a bit of kangaroo day-care during the year as well.
Taught lots of people to sell their souls. Well you know, sell from a place that feels good.
Had many epic family afternoon teas.
Made a few birthday cakes. All the same chocolate cake recipe. Still made me look good.
Went to the post office once. This is a fairly considerable event. I even have a photo of it on my phone, which is how I know it happened.
Went to Melbourne for my brother’s 40th. Had a massive night and ended up falling down the stairs like a “sexy baby giraffe”. Which is good I think. Took me a week to get over my hangover. Our flight was delayed due to a massive problem with the toilets and the aircon on our plane. We had to get a new one. Plane.
State gymnastics competition in Perth for Miss 11.
Trip down south for wedding number 2. Got a Camilla collection. Oh soooo bless-ed.
Year 6 graduation. Yes, it’s a thing. Tear-making.
Incubator Graduates Christmas party. I may have got stuck in my Camilla trying to demonstrate how to turn into a sarong (for when I’m next in Bali and plan to wear my $600 sarong around the pool, instead of the $2 one from down the street). This is possibly why dots points are too formal for this post. It was a work do after all.
Epic first ever motorbike and boyfriend photo shoot. Didn’t even know that was on my bucket list!
Christmas with my girls on the 24th. Christmas with my guy & his family on the 25th.
BBQs. So many BBQs because it’s summer.
Friends. So many friends. Too many to start singling out. But you know who you are and how much I love you in my world.
I’m not sure I’ll even drink on New Year’s Eve. I have my girls this year and I’m not going to attempt to break in after lockdown at the night club. I’ll probably hang out with some of my kids and my guy and fist-bump manifesting and all it brings.
The greatest lesson in manifesting what you want?
Be totally clear in your intention. As specific as possible in what you want. And then let the hell go of however or whatever you think needs to happen to make it happen. And then it will. Probably about the time you have accepted that it’s OK if it doesn’t happen or that you don’t really need that thing.
Here’s to 2016. The Year of Expansion. Not about doing more. About being more. And then that’s all. For now.