Change, Family, Love, Loving yourself

Foiled by The Adjustment Bureau

So I missed my flight home. Just a comedy of little errors in timing and planning that all came together to mean that although my flight had not yet boarded, it was closed and my massive red polka dot suitcase and I were not destined to be aboard. Well, maybe we were, but if we were then we would have been.

I had the most delightful week in Melbourne. It is far too far away from my home is all – Melbourne and my sister and my brother and their guys and my nephew(s). But too far away is not impossibly far, and every time I visit I am reminded how easy it is to call or write or post and be part of those lives. I was always really good at that, but then I got distracted with my everyday life and I forgot to remember.

The best bits about missing my flight?

My brother and I were totally relaxed about being late and didn’t really think I’d miss my flight, so our last hang out together was relaxed. On the way to the airport we went passed the spot where you park and the planes fly low overhead, and although we didn’t park a plane flew low overhead and I was reminded what glorious machines they are. My little brother is a man, and even though at times I forget that we are grown up when I look at the form of him all grown up and strong and solid and handsome I am so proud of him for the man he is. Charming and funny and smart and well…..manly.

My flights got rescheduled and I will still make it home today given the connecting flight all connects up with a very swift terminal change. I’m hoping the massive red polka dot suitcase makes it!

I got to sit and do my Monday planning while I contemplated a 4 hour wait at the airport, but then my little sister called and came to collect me to go for coffee. I was so sad last night (possibly a little tired after ‘working’ at an amazing 3 day seminar for three 12 hour days) because when I said goodbye to her on Thursday it was only until Sunday, not until next time I can make it to Melbourne, and then it got too late to see her, and so I felt a bit ungoodbyed. We ate, and drank and shopped and I even had to buy a new (classic business style grey) carry on suitcase to fit all the new stuff I bought in 30 extra minutes at the shop.

I’m in the plane. There is no one next to me for the flight which is quite a relief after my last experience. And I watched The Adjustment Bureau. And it all makes sense. My life got adjusted. Sometimes it’s because it’s something little like making the most of every moment with the people in your life, but sometimes it’s really big, because who you’re meant to be doesn’t get to be possible unless you get adjusted. Until he disappeared I forgot to remember what the point of my life was without him. And to keep him happy (or perhaps more truly to try to make him happy) I wasn’t being true to what I’m supposed to be doing. I thought I was supposed to be doing that, but now I’m not I realise that is not what I was meant to be doing at all. Right now. Truth is, if it was meant to be something else it would have been that. But now it’s this, this is how it is meant to be. I hope that’s not confusing, because it seems really clear to me, and with that clear I’m not trying to make sense of why it’s not like I thought it was supposed to be, and I’m accepting that this is what it’s supposed to be.

I’m meant to be on this flight. At this time. With no one in seat 30B and bean burritos on the menu for lunch. And so here I am.

I guess I should be thanking The Adjustment Bureau for that.

 

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